In This Short Time

The intellect is cleared but the emotions not

2010-05-11T22:51:00.002+08:00

After becoming an atheist, you will suddenly enter into a state of intellectual clarity, but not necessarily into a state of emotional clarity.

For years and years, you had suppressed your emotions and feelings, believing all to be 'covered by the blood'.

You'll soon discover there's no such thing. There's a big fat bunch of feelings and emotions waiting for you to discover and to hopefully get over.

Good luck!

Religion is not a crutch

2010-04-18T02:06:00.004+08:00

Christians tend to think many wrong things about atheists.

For example, they think we left because we wanted to sin more. When it's actually the contradictions in the bible that disturb us. And impossible commands too, of course, like stoning people who do not keep the sabbath, etc.

The other misconception is that they think we look down on them because they're using religion as a crutch. Then they'll say to their congregation, "So be it; indeed Jesus is our crutch. Let them look down on us. We know whom we have trusted, and He will not let us down. Let's see who laughs on judgment day." Or something like that. Thus portraying us as cold-hearted bastards. Which we are not at all.

We don't think they are emotionally weak. We just think they are wrong. Factually wrong.

Sometimes I think they're silly, in a certain way, in the way that all of us are susceptible to being at times. But at no time did I think of them as emotionally weak.

Carried to extremes

2010-04-18T01:43:00.003+08:00

There was a time when I used to do everything to the extremes. I try not to do so anymore. I try to be more balanced. I like to think I've succeeded.

Maybe that's why I post less nowadays.

Only when the spirit leads.

PS Or have I now gone to the extreme of posting only rarely? :-D

Why We're Naked

2010-03-15T11:45:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwPoM7lGYHw

Yes! They can all be wrong!

I admire her guts, even if the aquatic theory should one day proved to be wrong (which I doubt).

Both Daniel Dennet and and David Attenborough agree with her.

Testing

2010-03-02T20:06:00.001+08:00

Just trying out blogger on a cellphone at a café. Hmm... Seems to work.

Blogger.com is being attacked?

2010-02-12T11:06:00.003+08:00

I don't get comment notification, and there's a lot of junk comments in foreign languages like Chinese and Tamil. Well, actually, Chinese isn't that foreign to me...

So just in case I miss any of your comments, you know why.

Thanks to all who have lent a listening ear.

You just know

2010-02-11T10:46:00.002+08:00

There are times when you just know things without knowing how you came to know it.

Ever had those moments? It's so hard to explain yourself when that happens. When you're asked how you know this, and what made you decide that. The truth is, I really don't know. I just know that this or that is right for me. I don't know the whys of it.

Maybe it comes easily to people who are super-connected with themselves, the quiet type, who are often able think for themselves without any outside influence. Ha.

Out of much good

2010-02-04T00:04:00.004+08:00

Out of much good, evil comes. Out of much evil, good comes.

This is hopefully just the first installment of many cryptic nonsensical messages that are popping into my head that I will be sharing with you.

The atheist version of speaking in tongues.

Have a good week.

Money can buy happiness / Poverty can buy tonnes of unhappiness

2010-01-29T13:22:00.003+08:00

Jesus got it wrong, man. Money can buy happiness. Things have been looking up ever since I realized that, and started getting more of the green stuff. Appliances work better, and there is less friction and tension when you have more resources at hand to solve problems.

Far be it from me to give Jesus the finger, but can't help feeling He got it all wrong, man. No wonder he ended up .... Just saying, you know.

The Case of the Wierd Sherlock Holmes movie

2010-01-12T10:17:00.003+08:00

Copied this humorous title from slate magazine.

After watching the movie, no, in fact, during the movie itself, I had an intense desire rush out of that dark room to the nearest bookstore to read the book again to assure myself that Sherlock Holmes, as a story, is not that bad. Either that or to confirm that SH is indeed such a shallow character.

I have yet to get my hands on one. (Man, I need to get me a Kindle.) No, it can't be. Or the book would never have survived that long in our memories. It has to be the fault of the movie.

First 2010 post

2010-01-06T21:59:00.002+08:00

It's a new year. Twenty-ten. Hope everyone's good. Been down with flu, on and off.

Other than that, been pondering on life, as usual.

Written many blog posts in my mind, never got the chance to actually pen it down.

Materialism doesn't really satisfy. Being spiritual is much more satisfying, methinks.

Have a good one.

December post

2009-12-12T10:42:00.003+08:00

Yes, I've been getting those existential depressions too.

Life just doesn't make much sense, especially when you're down and you happen to be in great pain. It's those times when you look forward to death, the extinction of self, when the plug is pulled, and you are no more.

Wonder how it would feel. Nothingness. To be nothing no more.

Bliss.

Before Adam signed on the dotted line...

2009-11-10T09:49:00.002+08:00

This is hilarious!

Why I am 100% sure there is no God

2009-11-10T00:21:00.003+08:00

Atheists are not supposed to be 100% sure that there is no God.

But I am.

The source of the strength of my conviction stemmed from my Christian training, where we were encouraged to have faith, despite a sore lack of evidence. The evidence for there being no God is so strong compared to there being a God that it hardly takes effort for me to believe that no God whatsoever exists. I have that much faith.

Richard Dawkins probably has less faith because he never went to church, which is why he is only 99% sure.

Christian comments

2009-11-09T14:39:00.004+08:00

Ever since having had some discussions with liberal Christians, I've been getting lewd comments in some of my old blog posts.

What makes intelligent people Christians & Joyful atheist evangelism.

What can I say.

Bible Oops!

2009-11-08T09:59:00.000+08:00

Atheist Pastors

2009-11-01T09:57:00.003+08:00

Many of them are actually atheists, and but have to pretend to believe. That must not be a very good way to live. It's no wonder that so many of lead such distressful lives.

Many of us have to pretend, but only some of the time. These people have to pretend almost all the time, perhaps even to their own family members.

What if Darwin could blog?

2009-10-30T14:55:00.004+08:00

Would he have published half-baked ideas?

Darwin postulated natural selection while Lamarckism postulated that parts of our body that got used more would grow more adept, and that adeptness would be passed down to the next generation.

In his last edition, Darwin started to say that those parts which were more used would be more evolved. He could have been mistaken as getting nearer to Lamarckism, but that is hardly the case.

It is a simple case of cultural evolution working hand-in-hand with natural selection. One or two ancient giraffes with short necks found that they could get extra food by stretching their necks towards higher branches in the trees. Those around them started to follow this trend, and before you know it, everyone was doing the same.

Over generations, those with longer necks did better by getting more food, using the same strategy of trying to get food from the higher branches. So they produced more off-springs, and hence the appearance of long-necked giraffes.

Another example. In the midst of a primate colony, a baby was born with a larger head than most, and she killed her mother during child-birth because of that. This lady started using brains to get food instead of brawn. Her off-springs followed her example. Before you know it, a tribe of primates with the same survival skills had been formed. And so you get a branch of intelligent primates now knows an humans.

The very first verse

2009-10-14T10:08:00.002+08:00

I thought I was done with the first verse of the bible, but I'm not.

"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth."

The hebrew word for God is elohim, which is plural. It should therefore be translated as, "In the beginning, the gods created the heaven and the earth."

And if cosmology is correct, in the beginning, the gods caused the big bang to happen. He, I mean they, didn't create the earth immediately. The earth should have come about some time later.

Further, the word created can also mean cut*.

So perhaps it's more accurate to translate,"In the beginning, the gods separated the heaven from the earth."

*Notes:
Jos 17:15 And Joshua answered them, If thou be a great people, then get thee up to the wood country, and cut down for thyself there in the land of the Perizzites and of the giants, if mount Ephraim be too narrow for thee.

Jos 17:18 But the mountain shall be thine; for it is a wood, and thou shalt cut it down: and the outgoings of it shall be thine: for thou shalt drive out the Canaanites, though they have iron chariots, and though they be strong.

Religion harms all

2009-10-12T10:49:00.005+08:00

It is not enough to say that I wish for religion to leave me alone. I also wish religion to leave alone my family, and my friends. My village and my country.

The tentacles of religion reach to all parts of life, and to only object to those that affect us personally is to not say enough.

It affects one, and it affects all.

"Simple credulity can be evil... someone who can see that there are millions of credulous people around will soon take advantage of the fact, and will soon find a way to do so."

- Christopher Hitchens (paraphrased)

Evolution is just a theory?

2009-09-28T18:49:00.004+08:00

So is creationism! It's just a theory!

So it's a matter of which theory has more evidence to back it up. And which is able to make better predictions. Isn't that how science works.

Evolution has fossils, and billions and billions of DNA evidence. Evolution predicts that there will be much speciation. New species have just been discovered in the Mekong area.

Creationism has a book written many years ago by men trying to figure out the universe, or to concoct a religion. Creationism predicts that God will continue to make miracles, and heal amputees.

Which theory has more evidence? Which theory makes false predictions? Which theory would you rather subscribe to?

Inspired by this video:

Provided by John.

Christian Testimony

2009-09-12T11:47:00.005+08:00

I remember having had to give Christian testimonies when I converted, and when I got baptised. It was rather bashful to give them, because mine was so ordinary, and spectacularly unspectacular.

I only remember this because of what Robert said. He could not get a job because his conversion testimony was not powerful enough. Robert's blog. Read his comment. He lost it to a guy full of tattoos.

It's wierd isn't it? The one who sins the most and then comes to God is the winner, the alpha dog. Whereas those who lived squeaky clean lives and then come to God are somehow lesser. People like us actually felt guilty, for we felt that we had not changed much. That God had not done that great of a work in us. Perhaps we had not really been saved. Whereas if you had been doing hard drugs and shagging harlots for breakfast, and now you're just an ordinary person who does nothing, somehow that makes you a better man.

It's dastardly unfair. For my baptism testimony, all I could say was that I had been faithfully attending Sunday School for umpteen years, aced Religious Knowledge in school, and was always the first to turn up for church. (Of course, I did not say all that. I have forgotten what I did to spice up my testimony. Or I just want to forget.)

Bird Stories

2009-09-11T12:43:00.003+08:00

Nature is, by nature, cruel.

Sniper One

2009-09-11T10:15:00.001+08:00

I'm reading Sniper One at the moment, by Sgt Dan Mills. Totally engrossing read.

Get your latest dose of heresy here

2009-09-08T09:14:00.002+08:00

Maybe the people in Jesus' time had no concept of life after death. They thought that Jesus' death would bring them eternal life. Literally. Which is why Jesus was said in the bible to have promised that some would not taste of death until they see the Son of Man coming in power.

Or, as some say, Jesus went to hell for a few days. (3?) Jesus = infinity. Infinity multiplied by 3 = infinity. That's how I as a Christian in the past would have theorised it. (Silently in my brain, of course; I would not dare voice it out, such theological attempts would have been viewed with much confusion by the club I was in.)

Thanks to OSS for inspiring this.

Addendum: OSS has now asked which part of Jesus is the infinity. The human part or the God part.

Let's take on the challenge. Well, "obviously" the God part.

No further questions allowed.

Or we will inflict the Spanish Inquisition upon you.

The way of philosophies

2009-09-04T16:21:00.003+08:00

There are no Christians, Atheists, or Taoists, only people.

People do things. Sometimes good, and sometimes bad.

They all need to take their own individual responsibility.

Religion does tend to cause people to behave in certain ways, good or bad. Philosophy does the same thing, depending on what you subscribe to.

So the question remains: is Christianity a good philosophy, or a bad philosophy?

It's great fun to hang out with you guys

2009-09-03T09:53:00.005+08:00

It's great fun to hangout online with all these wonderful people you see on the blogroll to the right. It's not a list of blogs. It's a list of wonderful people.

I've tried being alone and it sucks. In the offline world, I have no friends. Or, as Lorena says, no friends that I would like hanging out with anyway. For the moment. And I'm just too emotionally tired to find new friends. I'm all spent.

I just want to take time to recuperate, reboot myself, defrag, and take the time to see the world from a new perspective. To adjust my focus.

In the past, the way I found new friends was just to join a new church. That worked everytime. In fact, I did find new friends, and interesting people. I was looking for people as crazy about Christianity as I was. And I did find a few. Only to find that Christianity was not what I wanted to be crazy about.

What should I be crazy about next?

I like Alanis Morissette's song about you have to be a little crazy in order to get by in this world.

Solitude is a great teacher

2009-08-14T18:35:00.000+08:00

Solitude is always a great teacher for me. I'm not a very self-aware person, so I really need time to reflect upn myself, the words that I say to others and the actions that I do. I may be hurting others without even realising it. And myself as well.

Solitude is my self-repair and maintenance time. I'm making a mental note to myself here to have more solitude time. I thought I already have quite a lot. But I guess it's never too much.

Lay your burdens at the feet of Al Pacino

2009-08-12T11:11:00.000+08:00

One of my favourite actors. The bushy eyebrows really make him look devilish.

Christianity will become more uncomfortable (Part 2)

2009-08-01T12:09:00.001+08:00

It is a wonder that Christians are able to reconcile their current practices with the way Christianity has been practiced in the past. If they ever bother to look into their own history books, that is.

The bible is supposed to be timeless. So should the true followers of God be. They should not be tossed and turned by the winds and waves of modernity. They should be steadfast and never-changing, just like God. Christians are supposed to be led by the Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit, the Holy Ghost, who is also God, who should therefore be eternal and eternally unchanging. He is the Counselor to the church, and a church receiving His Counsel should be equally steadfast and unmovable.

Instead, if anyone bothers to trace the history of their church, they would see upheavals and revolutions, and drastic changes in doctrines and practices. For example, Catholics used to believe that Limbo was real, but they no longer do. Christians used to believe in keeping slaves, they no longer do. Women pastors used to be unheard of. And on and on.

Are they saying that as time goes by, they are hearing clearer and clearer from God? Was the reception so bad in the past, the airwaves so clogged up with ether that the saints of old could not hear God too clearly? Does it not smack of arrogance to think that modern Christians have it all right while ancient Christians had it all wrong? Who's to say that the modern Christians are not in major error even now?

And if you extrapolate the way Christianity is changing, the end result can only be a totally godless, heathenly, atheism.

Christianity will become more uncomfortable

2009-07-31T21:33:00.000+08:00

As time goes by, Christianity will probably become more and more uncomfortable for moderate to fundamental Christians. This is so for with every passing year, more and more passages in the bible will seem outdated and out of touch with modern thinking, in the light of new scientific discoveries and new social mores.

One example of this would be the way women are treated and viewed. On the whole, as time passes, women are given more and more respect and given higher and higher positions of authority, in keeping with the times.

The coping mechanism which kicks in would be to rationalise new doctrines, and to refine them, and to say, look here, this is what the bible really says, we've been getting it wrong all this while.

All this leads to internal confusion; thus you have people like Jimmy Carter leaving the SBC.

The CONfidence Theorem

2009-07-25T12:52:00.002+08:00

Wow, this preview box sure is small. Maybe God's sending me a message.

It’s interdependent confirmation bias. First the preacher starts a preparing a message that actually comes from his own heart, his feelings, emotions, and mental state at the time. He thinks it might be from God.

He steps on the pulpit, hoping it’s from God. The audience, too, hopes it’s from God.

After the sermon, or during, everyone says Amen, building up confidence in both the audience as well as the speaker. At the end, people comes up to the Preacher, saying,” Amen, Pastor, that was really from God. I can feel it.” The Preacher now feels more confident than ever. Week to week, he grows from confidence to confidence.

One day, he doesn’t feel any doubt at all that his message is from God. He starts to believe in his own infallibility.

Mathematically, confidence is directly proportional to the number of years a preacer has been on the pulpit. This is the CONfidence Theorem.

Slaying Dragons

2009-07-16T09:13:00.004+08:00

Is it better to confront your fears and pains head on, or to avoid them?

Or a combination of both?

I think a combination of both. At times, a pain is so big that it is better to leave it alone. Better to run and live to fight another day. At times, when you feel you're strong enough and have the resources to face the dragon again, I say, let's go out and slay that dragon.

At such times, you will find that the dragon has grown much smaller, and you have so much more weapons at your disposal to slay that dragon.

Day by day, you grow stronger, until the dragon has shrunk to poodle-size, and that's when you decide not to slay it but keep it as a pet instead.

Out of the fog

2009-07-13T21:05:00.004+08:00

I had an emotional outburst with a relative today, who had come to visit. It left me mentally and emotionally exhausted, but after a short rest I was rejuvenated and felt extraordinarily lucid. It feels like all the while I had been walking in a fog and only now have I come out of it.

I guess some things bother you so much on a sub-conscious level, but you just don't realise it; it just simmers inside of you. Until somehow it's punctured, and all the stress is released.

Ricky Gervais on atheism

2009-07-12T09:53:00.006+08:00

Ricky Gervais, one of the actors in Night at the Musuem 2, which I enjoyed a little (I think I enjoyed the pop-corn just as much, and it cost about as much too), shares about his atheism. Ricky is, IMO, a great comedian.

In this interview, I like the way he described how his mum used Jesus as an unpaid baby-sitter.

Heaven will be like this

2009-07-10T09:00:00.006+08:00

Ever wondered what life in heaven would be like?

He couldn't create a life on earth giving everyone freewill unless He makes it full of suffering as well. So life in heaven has to be like one of the undermentioned:

Devoid of all free will, i.e. we will all be robots or automatons. We will have even lesser freedom than Sonny in I, Robot. (Sonny killed the professor, remember?)
Only perfect people will enter heaven. Which means you won't make it.
Heaven is just like earth, full of suffering. On top of that, it would be overflowing with hypocrites.
No sin would be possible; are you still sure you want to go to heaven?
You will lose your entire personality and be transformed into an entirely new being. No you won't get to choose, it will be one size fits all. Actually, it would be no different from just creating a whole new being. Any objections? Not that they will be noted.

Everyday would be a Sunday, which means you would have to go to church everyday. He would be the preacher every Sunday (which means every day). Maybe He'll pass along his smiting techniques to all the inhabitants of heaven. People who are still on earth, unraptured, would have to watch it.

The Reason for the Second Coming

2009-07-08T14:19:00.004+08:00

Mankind was very unsatisfied. There seemed to be no meaning to life.

Religion was invented. After you die, you get to go to heaven, isn't life wonderful? Now you can spend your life chalking up credit points.

Wait a minute, that's too difficult. Oh no, salvation is free, it's not by works.

Oh, that rather takes the meaning out of life again. Just waiting to die and go to heaven.

Tell you what, we'll throw in this bit about our Saviour coming back at any time to bring you back in his chariot. So you have to be ready at all times. Keep your desk tidy at all times, you never know. He'll come back for you any time now. Be ready.

There, life is now so much more interesting.

What makes intelligent people Christians

2009-07-03T14:21:00.006+08:00

I've earlier said that there are all kinds of Christians, smart ones and not so smart ones. And we've pondered the question of why intelligent people still go for religions like Christianity.

Well, could it be that initially, a not so smart person wholeheartedly believes in Christianity with all his heart and might. An intelligent person (in terms of IQ) comes along and is captivated by the passion of this person. He then buys into the religion and is captivated, not because of the religion per se, but because of the person who believed in that religion. This intelligent person then lends his intelligence to shore up the validity of that religion.

It's just like multi-level-marketing; if you can get a lot of people to believe in a product, after some time, even the extremely cynical and smart people will start to wonder if there's some validity to the product. Smart people look up to people who are not so smart, so they join them. And even smart people need social acceptance. Perhaps especially smart people are especially needful of social acceptance, so as not to stand out too much, and be isolated.

When I say smart in this case, I'm just talking about IQ, not EQ, or other kinds of street-smartness, which may actually be more important in real life and day-to-day issues.

BTW: does anyone else get an advert promoting scientology.org after posting? Weird.

Tom Clancy's End War

2009-06-29T08:42:00.003+08:00

It's the first game I've ever played that can recognise voice commands from the player. I never thought I would be able to get it to work on my PC, but it's amazing what you can do with an average video card. At least I get a taste of something futuristic before I go the way of the dodo, and on a shoestring budget too.

Life is really not that bad.

On other fronts, things are brightening up too.

Without religion in the way, I'm finding it much easier to clarify things with others and to be able to see things in a very lucid way, without superstition and the unneccessary clutter of former indoctrinations. They still get in the way a little; re-format of brain in progress.

Life is short

2009-06-26T12:02:00.001+08:00

I think I must have written repeatedly on death, but the subject just never ceases to intrigue me.

Life is indeed short, and I sometimes feel if it's not true that humans are like ants, thinking not of death, we busy ourselves hither and thither, not realising our end is coming soon.

Wthout knowing it, death comes all too soon. Seventy years (the biblically-correct mortality rate) seems like a long time to us, yet it is nothing but a whisper in the night of the history of the universe.

Pondering the difference between Christians and atheists

2009-06-19T12:00:00.004+08:00

What makes someone a Christian and another an atheist? It doesn't seem to be intelligence; you can see intelligent people on both sides.

Could it be that religion is merely a bad habit that you've fallen into? Like watching too much TV, not blogging, etc. This is very possible because I couldn't get out of religion for 20-something years, and then suddenly I got out. Just like that. It started with a few questions about my own religion, which quickly snowballed into an avalanche. So it's possible that religion is just a bad habit.

Or is it a certain mind-set, or more accurately, a certain mind. Although we are all homo sapiens, we are all very different animals, individually. Humans must be the most varied within their own species, with individual tastes, mind-sets, philosophies, and therefore, religions. Some choose not to have any.

People who accept religion tend to be of a certain disposition. They don't question much, and they enjoy trusting in things which has not been proven, or better yet, things which are highly unlikely. They seem to have an inclination for such things. A gift, even. The gift of faith. And they live happily ever after. Their faith is never shaken even in the light of modernity, in the light of modern science, in the light of evolution, in the light of bible criticism. What's up with them? I suspect most of them never even bother to keep up with such topics and their impact upon their religion. No. They are much too confident that their God is real, no matter what the rest of the world says. Or perhaps, they become even more vehemently confident when the world around them doubts and falls into apostasy, increasing their confidence that they are the chosen ones.

Others like myself just seem to have a hard time accepting anything at face value unless it has been distinctly proven. We tend to smell a fish whenever we walk past the fish mongers'. (I hate fish.) Others around us just seem to be oblivious to the smell. They don't find anything wrong with being conned by people who themselves have been conned, and they seem to enjoy conning themselves, while the rest of us shake our heads in wonder.

Both sides are happy being who they are, I think. The Christians are happier being Christiany, and the atheists are happy being atheisty. Although it seems to be slightly more exasperating for atheists. I wonder why. Is it because we're envious of those who happily believe in Santa Claus while we've shed ourselves of such a delusion. When Christmas comes around, our eyes are not as glazed over as those of the believers. Every day is the same to us. We have no sabbath, no holy days, and days that are more profane. Something does seem to be missing from the equation.

There's something about watching people being enthralled with their God, to be lost in worship. To be faithful believers. It's like watching people watching American Idol. I don't particularly go for the show, but to be one of the audience, wowing and cheering, positively enthusiastic about the whole show, what would it feel like?

Being an atheist just seems rather cold, and being cold-blooded about everything. Everything can be explained, even emotions, fancy that. Where's the mystery of life, to walk through life with a blindfold sometimes seems more enticing and exciting than walking in the full light of day. To be a bit drunk seems better than being sober. To be unaware of the cruelty of life, and to able to ascribe meaning and purpose to every damn thing just seems so blissful.

Maybe I'm just hankering for the old life, especially when I see photos of old church-mates on facebook, just back from their church retreat. The pig longs to wallow back in the mud.

I am my genes and what I remember

2009-06-10T13:46:00.007+08:00

A tip of the hat to The Rambling Taoist for inspiring some thoughts about our identity, about who we are.

We are made of up genes and recollections. When we're young, our genes have not had time to take root, and we're mostly who we were as a result of our upbringing, and the family, relatives, friends, and classmates we related with. As time goes by, our genes come into play and our natural pre-disposition to be a certain way comes to the fore, especially as the inhibitions imposed upon us as youths fall away.

Memories is the other important component of who we are. Our past experiences compel us to interpret the world in a certain way, that may be far removed from reality. An abusive parent, for example, may cause a child to hate herself more than is reasonable to do so. She may think she is really worthy of hate even when she has done nothing bad, and that she therefore deserves nothing good and everything bad.

Memories also cause prejudices which may be totally invalid. We may see certain religions as cults even when they're no more preposterous than our own.

These 2 factors come to mind when thinking about who a person is. A person is the sum of genes + past experiences. These are the things that give a person identity. Even though the atoms and molecules in his body has totally changed, the thing that remains is a life-time of memories, and hence the feelings and emotions about things, people, and events that come along with them.

Blasphemy and the Purpose of Life

2009-06-07T09:04:00.005+08:00

I'm half-way through Blasphemy by Douglas Preston. It's a story about a machine that is something like the Large Hadron Collider. Something goes wrong and the machine starts to behave like God, able to read people's minds and to answer our deepest questions.

One of the questions posed was what the purpose of existence was. God answered that she did not know the ultimate purpose, for if she knew, existence would be pointless. "If the end of the universe was present in its beginning---if we are merely in the middle of the deterministic unfolding of a set of initial conditions---then the universe would be a pointless exercise."

"If you're at your destination, why make the journey? If you know the answer, why ask the question? That is why the future is---and must be---profoundly hidden, even from God. Otherwise, life would have no meaning."

Which brings me to my thought. If even God has no meaning for existence, why should the rest of us bother? And has anyone asked what God's purpose for existence is? Does she have a purpose-filled life? If even God is at a loss to finding the purpose of life, what more the rest of us?

Perhaps that's what life is---merely a journey. It need not to have purpose, it's just a journey; let's enjoy our walk in the woods.

I used to have meaning in life

2009-06-05T12:08:00.003+08:00

Once, I had meaning in life. To find God. To find eternal bliss. To find out how to live that life that would bring eternal reward in the end, no matter how painful things seem to be at the moment.

Now, I have no such goal. I know the above are all impossible. It's like trying to find the fountain of life all your life only to discover, after a long search, that there is no such thing.

The worse thing is that there is nothing more meaningful now to look forward to.

I now have to be contented with the little things in life. Everything else seems meaningless and petty compared to the lofty goals I once had.

What divides man from man?

2009-05-29T10:32:00.003+08:00

What is the single most divisive factor in humankind today? What is the wall that separates humans from one another? Is it religion? Is it gender? I would contend no, it is economic status.

People of a different economic status might as well be from another planet, when it comes to real life. Of course, in the blogosphere, nobody knows if you're rich or poor, but in real life, it quickly becomes obvious which economic status you're in. What car you drive, whether you have a car or not, the kind of clothes you wear. It's sickening.

Cultish

2009-05-28T10:09:00.003+08:00

Thanks to Daniel for highlighting this video:

If a picture paints a thousand words, a video must paint...

This video is so eerie. I feel like I've been through everything mentioned in it. Killing your own member, taken metaphorically, can happen even in modern religions.

Christian Atheist Movement

2009-05-26T07:47:00.003+08:00

The Christian Atheist Movement has begun. Let it be known that it began from this blog, from this very post.

In order to be a Christian Atheist, you first have to be an atheist. Next, you must admit that Christianity is an idea that has survived millions of years of cultural evolution, and is therefore beneficial to society, and overall individual health and well-being. It might even improve your marriage.

Think this idea would work?

Advantages:

Evolution is accepted.
You can still make fun of false religions. You're a Christian Atheist, not a Christian.
You can tithe up to 10% of your income. 10% is the ceiling, not the floor.
You can relive all the fun parts of churchianity.
We can have fun theological debates over what the bible really means and how to live it out in our communities.

This is an experimental idea, and I invite your feedback.

CAM would try to live out the teachings of Jesus as far as we can, as far as we can see that it enhances the lives of its adherents. In that sense, it is scientific and rational. Not superstitious.

CAM is inspired by Richard Dawkins, who may have coined the phrase 'Atheists for Jesus', as well as those who claim that the teachings of Jesus have been diluted and totally distorted by the church.

In the beginning, there was Christianity. And then God said, let there be atheism.

A different personal exit strategy from Christianity

2009-05-22T08:10:00.007+08:00

After having read quite a few ex-christian posts now, I'm realizing that my exit from Christianity was quite dramatic compared to those of my comrades'.

When I left, I questioned everything from James Dobson to the style of music in church, so much so that I drew the ire of the leaders in the church. I sent emails first to the leaders and then later to the members. This happened twice, in 2 separate churches. Both times, the controversies that I raised in those churches were seconded by my wife, who is still a Christian to this day. I had heated email exchanges with the leaders, but they could not out-reason me, nor did their knowledge exceed mine. They were easily defeated. I guess I was a little disappointed. These guys were supposed to be much better than me.

As a result, my relationship with my ex-church mates, and the feelings I have about Christianity are a little different from everyone else. I don't know for sure if I was being persecuted, but I sure felt like I was being persecuted for holding a different opinion from everyone else. Come to think of it, I was the only one with an opinion, the sheep didn't seem to care one way or the other, they were too busy with their careers, and ministry in church. It seems to me that everyone just wanted to play the game while I was the only soul protesting the way the game was being conducted.

As a result, I was kinda ejected from church. Later I got into more informal relationships with other Christians, whom I managed to find, as I was rather active on the internet in evangelizing to atheists and those from other religions. As a result, I found a band of Christians who were radically different from the rest. "The rest" being those Christians that I've been hanging out with since young. These new folks were more earnest in their search of scriptures and in trying to pattern their gatherings after the new testament church model. Unfortunately, they did not go far enough. There was no way they could. Could they cause couples who do not give up their properties to drop dead? Don't think so. And there were those who insisted on using unleavened bread for the Lord's supper. Those were hilarious days. So I became disillusioned with them too.

Ultimately, I think I excommunicated them more than they excommunicated me. I felt that they were not God's people; I was.

After ding donging from one extreme doctrinal group to another, I finally realized it was all bunk, especially after a particular bible reading session in the morning. Which I used to do every single day. By then, all my relationships with all Christians had already curtailed anyway, so there was no one to tell about my new-found faithlessness, and no one to notice that I had stopped going to church.

Come to think of it, I did not have much friends even when I was a Christian, just colleagues, whom I partnered in doing stuff for the Lord. We never shared everything or anything honestly, as too many things were too sinful to talk about, people were envious of one another, too busy thinking about the Lord to think about one another. Everyone was too busy turning their eyes upon Jesus to notice the person sitting next to her in the pews.

So now, as an atheist, yes, although it's lonely, it's no big deal. I had always been lonely anyway. I can kind of picture myself as the Lone Ranger, minus the heroic stunts and a horse named Silver. I've gotten used to not having friends and not making any. I had become quite adept at learning how to make enemies, though. Just question their deeply-held beliefs, and other secret tactics.

Furthermore, my wife was with me throughout my whole ordeal with churchianity, and she's as disgusted with them as I am, in fact, even more so. I am willing to consider going back to visit them once in a while, but she is adamantly against it. Perhaps that is why she is able to take the fact that I no longer go to church much better than most ex-christians' spouses. My atheism is a little harder for her to take, but I like to think that she's getting used to it.

So yeah, I am rather proud of my exit strategy from churchianity; it gave me a clean break, and people don't come around to try to bring me back to church. In truth, I think they're a little scared of me. They never even got into a proper argument or debate with me. When it comes to religion, people don't seem to use their brains too much. Not too sure about the other aspects of their life. Well, they shouldn't be so terrified. I have mellowed down quite a lot. Older and wiser, I guess.

Oh, a brave couple did try at first; I had known the man since before I was a teenager. He was sympathetic about the way the church had treated me, saw how it all began, deplored the wrong-doing of some of the leaders, and apologized on behalf of the entire church. They confessed that they had thought of leaving many a times, but never got around to doing it. Guess they had too much to lose. Or a matter of sunk costs. Their tithes and offerings to date must be a small fortune, not to mention that the man is, and has been, in the Church Council, for many years now. He continually pesters the church leaders about my case, so I understand, so much so that the then intern pastor, now the acting pastor, has come around to apologize to us.

The brave couple has not called for some time now. The last time they called, was to invite us to a church retreat at some beach resort, which was, they said, a "good deal" that they had secured with the tour agency.

I'm getting to be a lost cause.

I am my God (Part 2)

2009-05-16T23:26:00.004+08:00

Let's also remember that we are free to create as many delusions for ourselves as we want to. We can choose to believe in old wives' tales, if we choose to.

For example, I can choose to believe that just smiling can make me happier. I can try it out, and hey! sometimes it works. I also learnt that sometimes, by just pretending to be happy, I actually become happier! I just tell myself, I'm happy, I'm happy.

I hope I'm already freaking some of you out by now.

One freedom of atheists is to pursue any philosophy that he fancies. When I was a christian, I used to believe that all human philosophy and wisdom is of the devil. Now, I no longer believe that. So, I find myself reading all kinds of self-improvement and pyschology books without any feelings of guilt.

For example, now I'm trying to read 2 books: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, as well as Children are from Heaven. Both books by John Gray. I hope to gain some wisdom at the end of reading these 2 books.

Happiness is a worthy pursuit not only in itself, but for the good it can bring to others as well as ourselves.

I am my God

2009-05-15T10:47:00.003+08:00

Ever since becoming an atheist, I'm having much more freedom to make my own choices. It's like being born again. I feel like a born-again atheist.

I used to leave things to fate, in a sense. I thought that God was in charge of my life, and that he would just lead me to the right paths. Isn't that what Psalms 23 says? So I kept watching out for the signs that God was supposed to be showing me. That must have led me down some rabbit holes.

Anyway, now that I'm an atheist I'm having to make all my own choices, and knowing that nothing happens unless I make it happen, and that there's no God out there orchestrating my affairs.

It's quite scary, actually, to only finally take control of your life at such a late age. It's like realizing that life is like riding a bike, and you have to watch out all the time that you do not fall out of balance. I used to just let things slide. It's also like an addiction that I have to overcome, to just let celestial forces act upon my life, rather than taking an active interest in my life and taking active steps to change it for the better. I must say though, that it's easier to get rid of that addiction compared to getting rid of a the real addiction of drugs. Hopefully being in control will feel natural after some time, and that I will get to like it. I think I already do.

Sometimes it can get a bit depressing too, to realize at last that there's no celestial force watching out for you, you just have to be fully responsible for your own life. And that sometimes when you catch a lucky break, it's just pure luck, and not because there's a loving being out there who decided to bestow some blessings upon you. Like GK Chesterton said, "The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has no one to thank." It can be an unpleasant thought that the next time you're unlucky there's no being out there who's going to make sure that you get your luck back. The consolation is that the atheist is at liberty to do whatever it takes to get his life back on track.

I am my own God now, and there's no Satan to blame if I ever make the wrong choices.

Spot the difference

2009-05-12T19:04:00.003+08:00

Went to the Underwater World yesterday. It's located on an offshore island.

This is what an ordinary Pharaoh Cuttlefish looks like:

The sign mentioned that the cuttlefish can change colours to express its moods, so I did a little experiment, and this was the result:

Joyful atheist evangelism

2009-05-12T09:19:00.003+08:00

I feel happier as an atheist evangelist than a christian evangelist.

When I was a christian, I shared my gospel because it was commanded of me. Maybe I felt a bit good as well, but probably not as much as were I to have done it voluntarily. Why did I not do it voluntarily? I believe it is because I knew in my heart of hearts that it was all bunk, and I could not do it with a clear conscience. Something just kept bugging me.

Now that I'm an atheist, I don't have to share my atheism with christians, but still, I enjoy doing it. I will get no reward for doing it, nor any repercussions for not doing it. So I have nothing to win and nothing to lose by winning or losing an argument, other than some loss of face from my atheist comrades. But I'm sure I'll get more empathy or support from my comrades rather than condemnation.

If you were a christian and you lost a debate, you can be looked askance by your christian comrades for having dropped the ball, or for not being a strong christian, or worst, for not being a True Christian. As an atheist, no one will think that I am not a True Atheist if I bungle. Or if they do, it doesn't really bother me; it's not as if there's an atheist heaven that you can lose.

The joys of being an atheist

2009-05-10T09:51:00.004+08:00

Being an atheist is a good thing. (haha, 'good')

In the area of marriage, for instance. You can set up your own rules and regulations. Rules that are more suitable for your partner and yourself, that may not be suitable for the general public. If you had religion, that religion might ask silly things of your relationship that would only stifle it. Example? Say your religion forbids you to watch movies. That would be a terrible contrain on the relationship. Another example? Say your religion demands that you go to a far-away place every Sunday morning wearing stuffy clothes and putting on your best behaviour. Not a pleasant way to spend a weekend. Much better to sleep in and take time to re-consummate your marriage.

It is also most unhealthy for 2 people in love to spend so much of their time behaving like hypocrites in front of people. (Yes, I am assuming, no, I know for sure that couples know they're being hypocrites in church. In fact everyone knows that.) It is much better for them to be totally honest with each other at all times. Well, maybe not totally.

Oops, gotta go.

Overly righteous

2009-05-04T11:12:00.004+08:00

I sometimes wonder if people who grew up in church since young get too critical of themselves as well as others.

The very first few pages of the bible starts talking about good and evil, right and wrong, a wrathful God, and punishments dished out to the all the humans on earth (2), and even the snake got it from Him.

As a result, whatever situation I run into, the first thing I think of is whether this is right or wrong. It's become like an addictive thinking habit that's hard to break. You also tend to categorise people into whether he is evil or good. Once you're been put into the evil basket, all hope is lost in my eyes. Once you've been put in the good basket, nothing you do can condemn you or sully you.

This mode of thinking is probably not good. See, there it is again. Good and bad, right and wrong.

These verses saved me from christianity

2009-05-01T09:00:00.005+08:00

These verses, tucked inside Matthew 27, changed my life forever.

50 Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost.
51 And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent;
52 And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,
53 And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.

These resurrected bodies came out of the graves only after his resurrection. But they were resurrected at Jesus' death. Which means they stayed in their graves for at least 2 days after being resurrected. If their graves are like ours, then it's really scary. Imagine them six feet under, with nothing but putrid air to breathe in, and worst of all, no internet access. Even if their graves were large and roomy, there was no food and water. And it's ridiculous, after having been resurrected, to want to stay in your graves for another 2/3 days.

These verses changed my life forever. Thank you, Matthew.