A different personal exit strategy from Christianity

After having read quite a few ex-christian posts now, I'm realizing that my exit from Christianity was quite dramatic compared to those of my comrades'.

When I left, I questioned everything from James Dobson to the style of music in church, so much so that I drew the ire of the leaders in the church. I sent emails first to the leaders and then later to the members. This happened twice, in 2 separate churches. Both times, the controversies that I raised in those churches were seconded by my wife, who is still a Christian to this day. I had heated email exchanges with the leaders, but they could not out-reason me, nor did their knowledge exceed mine. They were easily defeated. I guess I was a little disappointed. These guys were supposed to be much better than me.

As a result, my relationship with my ex-church mates, and the feelings I have about Christianity are a little different from everyone else. I don't know for sure if I was being persecuted, but I sure felt like I was being persecuted for holding a different opinion from everyone else. Come to think of it, I was the only one with an opinion, the sheep didn't seem to care one way or the other, they were too busy with their careers, and ministry in church. It seems to me that everyone just wanted to play the game while I was the only soul protesting the way the game was being conducted.

As a result, I was kinda ejected from church. Later I got into more informal relationships with other Christians, whom I managed to find, as I was rather active on the internet in evangelizing to atheists and those from other religions. As a result, I found a band of Christians who were radically different from the rest. "The rest" being those Christians that I've been hanging out with since young. These new folks were more earnest in their search of scriptures and in trying to pattern their gatherings after the new testament church model. Unfortunately, they did not go far enough. There was no way they could. Could they cause couples who do not give up their properties to drop dead? Don't think so. And there were those who insisted on using unleavened bread for the Lord's supper. Those were hilarious days. So I became disillusioned with them too.

Ultimately, I think I excommunicated them more than they excommunicated me. I felt that they were not God's people; I was.

After ding donging from one extreme doctrinal group to another, I finally realized it was all bunk, especially after a particular bible reading session in the morning. Which I used to do every single day. By then, all my relationships with all Christians had already curtailed anyway, so there was no one to tell about my new-found faithlessness, and no one to notice that I had stopped going to church.

Come to think of it, I did not have much friends even when I was a Christian, just colleagues, whom I partnered in doing stuff for the Lord. We never shared everything or anything honestly, as too many things were too sinful to talk about, people were envious of one another, too busy thinking about the Lord to think about one another. Everyone was too busy turning their eyes upon Jesus to notice the person sitting next to her in the pews.

So now, as an atheist, yes, although it's lonely, it's no big deal. I had always been lonely anyway. I can kind of picture myself as the Lone Ranger, minus the heroic stunts and a horse named Silver. I've gotten used to not having friends and not making any. I had become quite adept at learning how to make enemies, though. Just question their deeply-held beliefs, and other secret tactics.

Furthermore, my wife was with me throughout my whole ordeal with churchianity, and she's as disgusted with them as I am, in fact, even more so. I am willing to consider going back to visit them once in a while, but she is adamantly against it. Perhaps that is why she is able to take the fact that I no longer go to church much better than most ex-christians' spouses. My atheism is a little harder for her to take, but I like to think that she's getting used to it.

So yeah, I am rather proud of my exit strategy from churchianity; it gave me a clean break, and people don't come around to try to bring me back to church. In truth, I think they're a little scared of me. They never even got into a proper argument or debate with me. When it comes to religion, people don't seem to use their brains too much. Not too sure about the other aspects of their life. Well, they shouldn't be so terrified. I have mellowed down quite a lot. Older and wiser, I guess.

Oh, a brave couple did try at first; I had known the man since before I was a teenager. He was sympathetic about the way the church had treated me, saw how it all began, deplored the wrong-doing of some of the leaders, and apologized on behalf of the entire church. They confessed that they had thought of leaving many a times, but never got around to doing it. Guess they had too much to lose. Or a matter of sunk costs. Their tithes and offerings to date must be a small fortune, not to mention that the man is, and has been, in the Church Council, for many years now. He continually pesters the church leaders about my case, so I understand, so much so that the then intern pastor, now the acting pastor, has come around to apologize to us.

The brave couple has not called for some time now. The last time they called, was to invite us to a church retreat at some beach resort, which was, they said, a "good deal" that they had secured with the tour agency.

I'm getting to be a lost cause.